Not all marriages go the distance, and some end in the most shocking and heartbreaking ways. Divorces are rarely amicable, and some women have experienced that firsthand.
Recently, divorced women met in an online discussion to share the moment they knew their marriage was over. Can you relate to any of these failed marriages?
1. After a Conversation at the Hospital
Realizing you’ve been on the wrong end of an abusive relationship is never a happy moment. After a trip to the hospital, one person realized she had to remove herself from an abusive marriage. “A nurse in the hospital said to me, ‘I think you’re afraid of him,’” one woman recalls.
“‘We can ban him from coming to the hospital.’ It sounded so nice. I immediately started crying and nodding. She brought me some printed material from the local women’s shelter, and one page was labeled, ‘Abuse Checklist.’ That’s when I knew.”
2. When They Came Groveling Back
It’s common for even the most happily married couples to take a break occasionally, but sometimes the time spent apart opens the eyes of one or both people! Several women admit that after taking a break during a particularly rocky part of their marriage, their husbands came groveling back, determined to change their ways.
However, these women surprised themselves by filing for divorce; the time apart gave them a new perspective, making them reconsider everything.
3. After Seeing Incriminating Texts
Shockingly, men who are cheating on their wives do a terrible job of covering their tracks. For many women, the decision to divorce their husbands was surprisingly straightforward: They saw incriminating texts on their partner’s smartphone that pointed to an affair.
Once their significant other confirmed their suspicion, it was easy, and the marriage was officially over.
4. After a Stunning Conversation
It’s shocking how many people won’t fight for their marriage. Is there anything more heartbreaking than realizing your partner would rather you leave the relationship than help you achieve happiness? “I told my husband point blank, ‘I’m not happy,’” one woman remembers. “He said, ‘If you’re unhappy, you’re free to leave.’ And I did.” Wow.
5. When There Was No Spark Between the Sheets Anymore
A solid marriage is often synonymous with a happy life between the sheets. When the physical attraction dies off, even the most rock-solid marriages suffer. Countless women lament their lack of intimacy with their partners, resulting in crediting that specific turn of events as the main reason why they ultimately sought divorce.
6. When He Went Behind Her Back Financially
It’s painful to realize the person you are married to is so selfish they’d torpedo your joint finances out of pure spite. “I specifically remember an hours-long conversation about our finances (or lack thereof) that I thought we came to a conclusion to,” one woman explains.
“The next day, he came home with tons of new electronics and tools and said, ‘He needed to get it out of his system.’ I was shocked. He spent $5,000 on everything and wiped out our checking account. It was so irresponsible. That’s when I knew.”
What an awful thing for her then-husband to do!
7. After Realizing They Were Unappreciated
Marriages are all about give-and-take, compromise, and respect. One person discovered the hard way that her husband did not intend to give her any of those three things.
“We were in the middle of an argument once, and he asked me: ‘What do you even do for me? What do you do for our child?’” recalls one woman. “I listed everything, and I don’t even remember his response.
I remember the way he asked me and couldn’t see how hard I was working for our family, and it broke me. It’s been over a year, and it still makes me so angry. I always felt like I wasn’t doing enough no matter what.”
8. When He Asked for an Open Marriage
Here’s sound advice for any married man: Don’t propose opening up your marriage to other people to your wife unless you’re one thousand percent sure she’s on the same page as you.
Asking for an open marriage after years of supposed monogamy can earn even the most caring man a one-way ticket out of the relationship! I can’t believe the nerves of some people.
9. When She Caught Him in the Act
Sometimes, when you realize your marriage is over, it plays out like a scene from a Hollywood film. “My situation was like so many movies I’ve seen,” explains another woman.
“My husband forgot what day I was coming home from a work trip. I literally caught him in the act with our neighbor. I don’t think I ever made a faster phone call to the local divorce lawyer.”
I can’t imagine walking into something like that!
10. When the Switch Flipped
Losing the spark and realizing you no longer have the capacity to love the person you married is a somber moment. Once the flame is gone, it’s gone permanently!
“Without mentioning what he did to make me feel the way I did, I realized it was over when I had completely switched off, and whatever he said or did made no difference to how I felt,” one woman admits.
“I knew I wasn’t coming back.”
11. When He Wasn’t Living up to His Potential
Countless people get caught up in what their significant other represents and overlook the person they are in the present. “When I realized I was in love with his potential and who he could be, I knew it was over,” confesses one woman.
“Sadly, his actions didn’t follow his words, and I couldn’t do it anymore. We were together for 14 years.”
That’s a long time to stick by a person despite them never fulfilling the dreams you saw in them.
12. When She Was Sick
One woman reports that she knew her marriage was over when she spent several months battling a disease, and her husband barely helped her at all along the way. Instead of being by her side, he spent more time socializing with coworkers and friends.
Obviously, this struck a chord in the woman (who has thankfully since recovered), and she decided his lack of caring about her when she was ill was a good enough reason to ask for a divorce.
13. After Talking to Her Parents
Sometimes, Mom and Dad know best. According to many women, the decision to go through with their divorce was easy once they had meaningful conversations with their parents about their issues. In most cases, these talks gave them the courage to do what they needed to do deep down inside.
As a result, they are in new relationships and happier than they’ve ever been.
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This thread inspired this post.
I’m John Schmoll, a former stockbroker, MBA-grad, published finance writer, and founder of Frugal Rules.
As a veteran of the financial services industry, I’ve worked as a mutual fund administrator, banker, and stockbroker and was Series 7 and 63-licensed, but I left all that behind in 2012 to help people learn how to manage their money.
My goal is to help you gain the knowledge you need to become financially independent with personally-tested financial tools and money-saving solutions.
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