A conversation that begins with ex-boyfriends, goes on to the topic of living under the thumbs of formidable mothers, includes admissions of failure, pronouncements like “In this woke world, Sara is slept”, and confessions of having threatened a bestie with violence if she looks at a particular man — shouldn’t this be fun? In an ideal world, watching these two women banter and field Johar’s questions should leave us if not charmed, then at least curious about them and eager to see them again. Yet neither woman on Koffee with Karan makes an impression. While Johar dishes out specifics of how in the past he’d made up with Kareena Kapoor Khan and Kajol after declaring he was never going to speak to either actor again because of fights they’d had, the two younger women stick to being vague. Sitting in a set that looks like a lavish, seven-star hotel bathroom in which the toilet fittings have been replaced with couches, the two women are gleaming reminders of how vacuous a celebrity can be.
On the plus side, thanks to the sentence antakshari game, we now know that Panday and Khan know the English alphabet. Also, having heard their original dialogues and verses, let us all say a prayer that neither actor nurses any aspirations of becoming a writer.
This season, Koffee with Karan seems to be consciously pivoting towards highlighting the personal lives of its celebrity guests. The first episode focused on Deepika Padukone and Ranveer Singh as Bollywood’s hottest couple. In the second episode, brothers Sunny and Bobby Deol made an appearance and left us with a vivid image of Sunny Deol making heart-eyes at teddy bears. This time, Khan and Panday are couch companions not so much for their personal friendship, but because they share an “ex” factor (read: Kartik Aaryan) and because one is single while the other is in a committed relationship. If Johar’s guests really were ready to be candid and chatty, this focus on private lives would probably be a winner, but so far it’s Johar making the revelations and baring his soul, rather than his guests.